Hey everyone! OK...this is getting pathetic. AGAIN, I'm so sorry that it has been so long! There's so much going on! Even though life has begun to "slow down" a bit, its still a little hectic...but that's ok, it keeps our minds busy, not allowing us to dwell on other "things"...if you know what I mean.
Well, we've been spending LOTS of time with the NEW cousins!!! The twins, Wyatt & Whitney are doing so well...A LOT OF WORK...but doing well. Every morning I call Kim to see how the night went, and she says, "Great...I'm just waiting for these newborns to "wake up," but until then, I'm just going to thank God for another good day!" Its hard to believe, but these two twins are actually EASIER (A LOT) than her first child, Lynae (but that's another story I suppose...she was extremely, um...high maintenance), or maybe its not the babies, just Kim...she's becoming the baby expert! If it takes 4 kiddos and a set a twins to become an "expert," ummm, I think I'll settle for my inexperienced status!!! (Can you hear me laughing?!?!?!) Of course there's plenty of pictures below showing off these beautiful babies!
Also, last post I promised an update on Jenny's wedding but we're still waiting for pictures (its so much easier to tell a story with pictures, don't you think?!?!)...I did not get a single picture of Jenny in her dress! Christian got a few of the kiddos but thats it! Oh well, when I get them I'll share them with you...until then, I'll just say it was beautiful...very God-honoring...perfect! Of course there were a few "glitches" along the way, but overall it really was a beautiful day! Claudia was well enough to walk down the aisle and she and Kyle did a perfect job of ringing the bells...actually, Kyle literally pulled her down the aisle, but it was so cute! I PROMISE I will give the full story when we get the pictures!
We came home from the wedding to have to give Claudia her chemo that night, and it went as expected...she threw up all night. However, she did much better the next few nights and we were able to get a little more sleep. Her body bounced back very quickly this time and her blood counts looked very good last week...so good she didn't even have to get them checked this week! YEA!!!!
Ok...allow me to be "real" for a minute... Will somebody please kill this sick feeling in my stomach? I'll never ever forget the feeling I felt as our dr. told us Claudia had a brain tumor - I was instantly overcome with this overwhelming, awful sick feeling...I just had no idea that 2 years later, this same feeling would still be making its home in my stomach. Its definitely worse on some days, like when we get close to another MRI (which is the case now...JUNE 29th!!!!) but there are some days I really get sick of the daily tears...the YEARN for this storm to calm just seems to becoming more intense. I long for the "normal" worries I hear all of my peers talk about..like being so "busy" from their social schedule and running their kids around (I can't even take mine to the park) or like how to deal with their kid crying in the nursery, or how to get them to eat more vegetables, or you know. I just want the "normal" emotions associated with a parent/child relationship. This past Sunday I was again reminded how different my "normals" are. The special music at church for Father's Day was a beautiful song about giving our children wings so that one day they will be able to fly away, and how happy, yet sad that will be. As the tears fell from my face, I realized everyone else around me was also crying...but they were crying because this bittersweet day will come too soon...me, I wept, praying that the Lord would allow my child to make it to this point in her life...that she would be here on earth, healthy enough to "fly away" from my arms. I guess I need to be more like my sister and try not to look so far ahead...to just be thankful for another good day that God has given us. And that is one thing this crisis has taught me...I definitely don't fret over the little things. I don't care if my house is not spotless, or has a few dishes still on the counter...or if Claudia smears my windows and mirrors with her fingerprints (in fact, there's one handprint on our foyer mirror I refuse to clean...every week I clean around it...its too precious to me and I want it there forever!)...or if we get to bed a little late because we're all on the couch singing to her videos...or if we have to grab fast food for dinner because Claudia and I spent extra time together in the pool...or if I don't get a shower until her nap later that day because we've sat on the couch all morning doing puzzles...I DON'T CARE!!!! And I'm not afraid to say no to others because there's not enough hours in the day to do everything for everyone else AND love on my little girl. I'm thankful I'm learning these lessons early in life and not when I'm older and only able to reflect on what I would've done different, wishing I would not have wasted so much time worrying about the "little" things of life.
ANYWAY... (Thank you. Sometimes it just feels good to let all these emotions run free.) We have a very big week next week. We will leave Wed. for Indy and stay the night for her early MRI on Thurs. morning, June 29th. If the tumor is not growing, we will begin another round of chemo later that day. Since I'm all about "being honest" this post, I'll just say this MRI has my stomach in knots. This will be the first MRI since her last scare of thinking the tumor was growing. This MRI will give us a better idea if it was truly growing (which is VERY bad b/c the chemo would be in vain). Also, if the tumor is going to shrink, it will show up on this MRI...and even though this isn't the dr's goal of the chemo (the goal is to keep the tumor from growing until she is older to take radiation), IT MOST DEFINITELY IS OURS!!!!! I've been praying so intensely for a miracle next Thurs., - that the dr's would be AMAZED that the tumor is GONE! Only our God could do that...and I believe HE IS ABLE! Please pray...from a begging mother with a broken heart, I plead for your prayers...I covet them. Thank you.
And here's some pictures of our recent events...
A more recent picture of Wyatt...isn't he adorable?! And this is a pretty good example of his little personality...calm, peaceful and a great little sleeper (most of the time)!
A more recent picture of Wyatt...isn't he adorable?! And this is a pretty good example of his little personality...calm, peaceful and a great little sleeper (most of the time)!
(BTW...he's definitely got the whole "sucking reflex" thing figured out and is a great little nurser!)
Whitney...isn't she beautiful?! Kim calls her "her little alarm clock!" She lets everyone know when its mealtime and is pretty impatient when its time! They (Whitney and Wyatt) always sleep together and its so cute how Whitney always has to be touching Wyatt...she's so much more "active" than he and she'll make all kinds of noises, hit him, lay her arm across his face and he just snoozes away...wander how long that will last!!!
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
What a great daddy!
I love this picture...My Grandpa Kessler holding his great grandson...what a Father's Day!
Notice the shirt...
And who needs hair to be the absolute most adorable little girl in the whole world?!?!
("Hair is so over-rated! In fact, Daddy said he's going to shave his head so we can look alike...another reason why he's the best dad in the whole world!")
We love you all and will keep you updated on all the events of next week. And from the bottom or our hearts, thank you for your prayers!
