As Christian and I were talking tonight, remembering what we were doing and where we were a week ago today, I remembered I never updated our site about the results of her last MRI…oops! Sorry everyone!
Last Wed.’s (June 29th) MRI results were good. The tumor is not growing. YEAH! And yet, I can’t seem to kick these mixed emotions…amidst the excitement of this news is a bit of disappointment in that we were really hoping and praying for some “shrinkage” this time. (Dr.’s said if its going to shrink it would have shown up on this scan.) But its ok. God doesn’t have to work within the Dr.’s time frame of knowledge…and I suppose it will just be that much more of a miracle when “it” all happens, right?!? Right. I’m really working on trying to be content and at complete peace with God’s answers and/or timing to my pleading prayers…and learning how to turn my heart’s anxiety into “It is well.” But it ain’t easy, and weeks like this remind me why…
The trip to Indy was…ok. We left so late Wed. night that we didn’t have too much time to kill in the hotel, and that’s a good thing. The next morning went fairly smooth as well. We didn’t have to wait as long as usual for her MRI and because her port was already accessed, they could put her to sleep using her port which is much more…easy and nice and…less traumatic for all of us. We also had a very good anesthesiologist because she woke up without too many tears this time. Not having a whole lot more to report on about our trip this time is also a good thing…boring = good!!!
This week has been rough. The side effects of the chemo are really starting to hit hard. She got the two chemo drugs Thurs. and they caused some MAJOR constipation. Again, because of the communication barrier (that is definitely getting much better…she’s really beginning to talk a lot!), we’re never quite sure just everything that is going on inside of her, but by Sat. night she was really beginning to cry a lot. Sunday and Monday she cried and wanted to be held ALL DAY. Her entire body would shake and she cried hysterically anytime we would pick her up or move her. She just kept saying, “My tummy hurt. Help me mommy.” (Man, I can’t even write this without tears…shouldn’t I be used to this by now? What is it about your child begging you to help them, only to be completely helpless that just shoots a pain right though your heart?) After several calls to the doc and with the help of some medicine, by Tues., she passed several big “loads” and was feeling so much better. Of course, through all of this, she got her days and nights mixed up again. Sleep deprivation (something I wish there was a pill for!!!!) just seems to put this irritable edge on everything. And because of some previous medical issues, I (Sarah) have to have my sleep or it actually can throw me into a downward medical spiral. Soooo…by 5 or 6 in the morning…without a single minute of sleep, her mini video becomes our best friend and “babysitter!” (Just a funny thought...Before having Claudia, I couldn’t fall sleep unless it was completely silent and completely dark, and now…hey, all I need is a surface I can lay on, hard or soft, it doesn’t matter…lights and noise definitely don’t matter…and I think that I must dream along with her videos because I find myself subconsciencely waking up to put another DVD in when one has finished! Before children, nobody tells you about these "side effects" of motherhood!!!) And if you can picture this…last night (around 3 am) she was feeling much better, not even remotely tired, and jumping on our bed…Christian and I just laying there dying to be sleeping, moving with every bounce, and Christian (half asleep and eyes closed) says to me in a complete monotone voice, “I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m actually really happy right now…Claudia is feeling so much better.” Funny how I was thinking the exact same thing! I guess its all about our new set of “normals” I was talking about in the previous post!
Anyway, on a more positive note, Claudia was feeling much better by Tues. and so we were able to have a very enjoyable 4th of July! I just realized that I haven’t downloaded any pictures from our camera for some time so I’ll just wait and tell you all about the 4th’s festivities later! Her counts look really good from her blood draw today…actually quite surprising…despite her chemo, they’ve gone UP! Crazy! So we’re off to Indy tomorrow morning for another round of chemo. This time, I promise I’ll update much sooner on how everything went. Until then….here's only a couple of pictures.
Clauida LOVES playing in the RV. In fact, the only way to get her out of the pool without crying is to say, "Want to go get into the camper?" She calls it the "pamper!"
We made the BIG mistake of showing Claudia the nest with baby birds on our gutter out back...she now throws a temper tantrum everytime she walks by them b/c she wants to see the "baby birz." Oh how I love the terrible two's!!!
And I'll leave you with Claudia's "funny comment of the day." We were at my parent's house tonight and after a huge bowl of icecream, she says to my mom, "Gandma, I NEED more i-ceam!" This is the first time she has ever said the word need! We all laughed. (Guess you just had to be there!)
